Reply to How did your sibling being a "dud" impact your relationship with him/her, and with your parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is hope, guys!

My dud sibling is finally, FINALLY getting his crap together now that he's approaching his 40s.

He just moved out of my parent's house over the summer. He's actually at a dealership as we speak purchasing a car fully on his own. He's been working full-time without any large gaps for around 5 years now (3 yrs at one job & 2 yrs at his current job).

He even mentioned in a text a few weeks ago that he was out shopping for Christmas gifts for everyone. He's not bought gifts for anyone since he was in his teens. And by anyone, I even mean his kid. My parents and I bought all the gifts for his kid and he'd select a few to put his name on.

Can I count on him 100% to help with things related to my parents? No, but now it's more like 60% which is a lot better than what I would have said last year. [/quote]

That is great!

I feel like I was a dud in some ways, until my mid 40s. I did some "fun" jobs in my 20s, became a SAHM in my 30s, then finally got my grad degree mid-40s and have been developing professionally for the last 10 years. I don't think it's ever too late for anyone. [/quote]

I feel like a dud most of the time because I am a SAHM and was underemployed in the early years of motherhood before I became a SAHM. My sibling is successful, and relishes in making snide remarks about my lackluster career. I've recently turned 40 and really hoping to find a future for myself and have considered getting a graduate degree in a field that is interesting to me. Unlike the one I have that is worthless bc I hate the field and was not very successful in it anyway, but that is what happens when you don't have a firm career plan and get pressured by parents (even though they didn't pay for the degree, I did, but pursued what they pushed, stupidly).

Becoming a SAHM was pretty easy for me as I was unsuccessful and unhappy in my prior field, and now starting over because my connections in that field are useless. It is somewhat demoralizing, but, I am grateful that it has been possible for my family to get by on one income.

Hopefully I will find a path for myself and feel more useful. I volunteer often (about 10 hrs/wk on average) and that has been the most important thing for me in the past few years as that has made me feel useful, connected me to some really nice and interesting people, and I like that even though I'm not working to improve the bottom line for my family, I do at least do something that is helpful for others and to the community overall. One day I will "launch" :)[/quote]

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