Reply to MIL gets mad when I see my side of the family during visits

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How is this a rare  opportunity? Sounds like it's happened many times and MIL has seen it happen before. Sounds like this happens every time it's "her turn" for the holidays. Just own that you plan to see your family every time and work out a plan that your husband entertains her for a few hours. But stop pretending this is a once in a life time opportunity that can't be missed. You do it often enough that it's become an issue.[/quote]

OP here. Well, it’s like this. Let’s say Family Wisconsin visits for Christmas, but this is the first Christmas in 4 years that the stars have aligned that they are here visiting their sister (instead of in Wisconsin or at their parents’ house in Illinois), or let’s say Family Mississippi happens to be here for the first time in 3 years because of COVID and because they visited other side of the family other years. So yes, while there have sometimes been family around to visit, it’s a rotating cast of characters, and at any time, I probably haven’t seen individual people in a few years. That’s just the way it shakes out, logistically. So I guess the constant is, there is someone I haven’t seen in a long time around to see, but the variable is who that person is.[/quote]

So why isn't husband stepping up to entertain his mom with this predictable break in the inlaw visit? Isn't that the obvious solution?[/quote]
 
Ignore these people- I think both you and your husband are handling this just fine!  There is no need for extra special events every single day/evening when family visiting for several days.  The events your husband has planned while you are visiting with your family sound great!  
OP here. He is! DH is playing it up like, “While Jessica goes out with her cousins, we’re having make your own pizza night—it’s the kids’ favorite! Kids, aren’t you excited for grandma to help with pizzas?” He’s even done activities like take them out to see a light show and other fun holiday things. He’s also asked her to teach our kids how to make her special Christmas cookies. DH is great about it. So is FIL, for that matter—FIL just asks after my family and tells me to have a great time.[/quote]

To be honest that doesn't sound super special. While you're out for dinner why doesn't he take her out for dinner? He should plan a little better.[/quote]

OP here. After Christmas Eve church service and DH making their traditional Christmas Eve meal, then me making a beautiful holiday meal on Christmas Day and having them be part of the magic on Christmas morning, how much more “super special” is needed? DH also asks if there’s anything they want to do—see a movie, go to the Nutcracker, etc., etc., and they never want to get out of the house much. Honestly asking: after a full traditional Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, how much more “special” really is there? What would you propose, specifically? [/quote]

Let your husband figure it out. It's his mother. You have a husband problem.[/quote]

In what way? He always sticks up for me going and plans specific things for them to do while I’m gone. Can you please elaborate on what, specifically, he should be doing differently other than to back me up and engage them while I’m out? Do you think him talking to them directly will get anywhere? Honestly asking. -OP[/quote][/quote]

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