Reply to Anyone have a mother who likes to be stabby on your Birthday?

Forum Index » Family Relationships

Reply to "Anyone have a mother who likes to be stabby on your Birthday?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom got very angry when she “didn’t hear from” my brother on HIS birthday. My brother is a 54, married father of 3. How did I know she was angry? She called me to say how disappointed she was and how she’d just never heard of a “child” not reaching out to his mother on his birthday.
[/quote]

Annual tradition in my family. But my mom won’t call. She’ll just passive aggressively text a few days later and say “I didn’t hear from you on your birthday so I couldn’t wish you happy birthday.” I get OP’s same rotation of nastygram birthday cards and emails on random years, too.

I am a twin from a time when they weren’t common and I’ve always wondered if my mom started as a narcissist or if the attention of having twins was what put her over the edge. She hated us getting older and still seeks out situations where she can be known as “the mom of The Twins.” We are in our 50s.

Happy birthday, OP. [/quote]

Was it helpful to have a twin in your situation?  Vs. Having a non-twin sibling or being a single?[/quote]

It’s the only life I ever had, but no, I’d say it was worse than being an only child. I’m only slowly dipping into understand my mom’s mental problems, but the ways she played us off of each other and used our gender difference to heighten those games was really messed up. In some ways it would have been easier to be an only and not have to witness someone else being treated better. It would have also eliminated the [b]triangulation[/b] that my mom used to keep everyone prancing in circles around her. I did used to fantasize about an older sibling who would rescue me, but the reality probably would have been complicated.

As adults, my twin and I are not close. My mom’s manipulations put too much distance between us.[/quote]

Makes sense. I thought maybe it could have been better that you had each other, if she left you two alone to take care of each other.  But of course not. I am youngest of three kids. The older ones were not in any position to rescue, we had our roles and the triangulation kept us resentful and jealous of each other. One kid would be singled out as the one to pick on, and we'd go along with it, because we were children!! We have good relationships now, but not as close as you'd wish sisters to be.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics