Reply to Spouse doesn’t want you at work holiday party

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Thanks all.

Yes, there are bigger issues. We have become distant. The standard two ships passing at night. I try to hold on to normalcy and it hurts that he just doesn’t want me there.

He and I both are both talkative fun people. I can hold my own, am well educated and cultured. However, I recognize the environment and tone it down because that night is not about me, it’s about him. I talk him up, try to connect with his colleagues and spouses, all that stuff. I don’t think it’s what I am doing in particular.

I do think he tries to fit in with the younger crowd at work. We are in our 40s and he has a very senior position. It’s not a good look in my opinion when he wants to rub elbows with the younger folks. Perhaps that is why? Early on, we would sit with our peers and have a great time but in recent years, he just wants to mingle with the younger folks and go to the after parties.

I did tell him, regarding other work events that I do not attend, that he really shouldn’t be going to the after parties. I pointedly asked him once, did any other senior level person go? The answer was no.

Perhaps he wants to stay young and having his 40
something wife and mother of his kids next to him takes away the fantasy.

I am starting to wonder if he hasn’t cheated, I think perhaps it’s just because he hasn’t been able to pull it off. I have noticed when he has these company night outs, he grooms his private area that same morning.

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Thanks for shedding more light on this.  My guess is that you’ve let him know pretty clearly that you don’t like the way he conducts himself at the party and he doesn’t want you there to cramp his style or make him feel judged.  I get that.  [/quote]

Thank you! While I never made comments from his behavior at the holiday party, I have made comments about being careful about going to the after parties and that with all that drinking, it could get him in trouble.

It could very well be that he would feel judged and uncomfortable with me there. I guess the issue is deeper. Why does he need to act like a 20 year old? I wonder if the younger folks want him around. ot worse, perhaps a girl does want him around.

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