Reply to Strategy for having multiple children as an older lower energy FTM

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[quote=Anonymous]I was like you, OP and we went for the 2nd child. My kids are 7 and 4 now and the last 3 years have been the hardest of my life. We have a full time nanny, plus a Sunday morning nanny from 8-2 (she takes our 4 yo out of the house that whole time). I work full time in a pretty flexible job and so does DH. My dad lives close by and helps with driving. My 2nd child has some mild SN, but initially we thought they would be profound SN.

We are so deeply struggling. I adore my 4 yo but i realize we REALLY should have stopped at one and I feel deeply jealous of families with onlies. I feel like I’ve lost my body, my marriage, and my sense of self almost entirely. It sucks. I’m on antidepressants. I do therapy. DH and I have done therapy.

One thing I just did not fully understand is how much of my life is consumed by mental logistics. Almost no one can handle both of our children at once, so anytime I want a break I have to arrange childcare separately for EACH of them. It’s so hard. [/quote]

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