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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I guess I don’t understand how her life choices are affecting you or what she’s doing (besides existing) that bothers you so much.

And your other sibling is a pot-stirrer.  Does this sister not envy the other family members, only you?  How come everyone else is able to deal with her?[/quote]

Her existence does not bother me. I wish her nothing but success and happiness as I wish all of mankind.[b] I really don’t want to go down the road of explaining my feelings[/b]. I was simply asking how to go about fading her out of my life. If I continue to be consistent with my actions, barring something catastrophic, eventually she should get it. I’m hoping.

I don’t know if she’s envious of other people, I don’t put too much stock in her. But with siblings, there’s a certain ‘access’ of one’s life that there’s not with other people. My family and I are conflict avoiding people. They just let her be. I just don’t want her to be in my life.

[/quote]

It is really hard to help someone if they don't explain a bit more.  But, I will say that if you cease to talk or see your sister there will be drama.[/quote]

I speak to her and see her when I have to. And I guess I feel that I have to for family gatherings. But I do not want to grab a drink with her or eat lunch with her one on one or really speak to her. I guess I am trying to figure out why that would cause drama. She comes to my house and eat my food (which I cook for her separately because of her allergies) and she drinks my wine, and I do so because I am hosting all of my family. But I no longer go to her house and eat her food one on one or invite her to my house if there was not a social event.[/quote]

So what you are asking is how you can not ever have to speak with your sister, but still attend (and host) family functions with her and not have to have to answer any questions about why you are doing that or not have anybody with hurt feelings or judge you.

The answer is you can't.[/quote]

Thanks for this. This is the relationship with all of my cousins (don’t speak but see each other during family gatherings) and it has not always been that way but it evolved mutually. And I guess my sister does not want this (which is why she keeps reaching out) and this is why I cannot have that evolution without the drama. But I was hoping I can with time and minimizing contact and was seeking other ways that I can. But maybe there’s no way.[/quote]

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