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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]DH makes almost 1M.  We purchased our bethesda house for 1.3 but it’s likely worth 1.7 now.  We have two nice cars fully paid for and I basically buy whatever I want without blinking an eye.  But our kids go to public school and we don’t travel much because I have three young children and it’s just too much work.
 We do not have a nanny or any other help other than twice a month cleaners (and I do SAH).  But to answer your question we are completely comfortable but I think if I added in a full time nanny, expensive vacations and shopping sprees and private school for three kids things would feel tight.  [/quote]

I am conservative with finances but am struggling to understand how this would feel tight on a $1M salary. [/quote]

Yes- where does your money go? You have no mortgage, childcare/tuition, car payments, or travel.[/quote]

yes, you are living a $250K lifestyle on a million dollar salary.  Perhaps your husband as another family (or two) on the side.  [/quote]

I’m the PP whose DH makes 1M.  I never said we are mortgage free.  PITI is about $4500 a month.  We have absolutely zero money worries right now but DH saves a ton every month because he works an extremely high stress long hours job and would like to retire early.  Could we easily pay for a nanny and trips and private school?  Yes.  But we wouldn’t be comfortable doing so because that would reduce our savings and lengthen his work lifespan.[/quote]

Can I ask a question which I would never ask in real life and you would probably never answer in real life.  Do you ever feel badly about being a SAH parent when your husband is so financially successful?  I can honestly say that if my daughter ended up in a situation like yours, I would not love it.  [/quote]

I’m the PP you posed this question to.  [b]Why would you not love it? [/b] Because you feel like your daughter wasted her education?  Because she’s reliant on a man for finances?
DH and I met very young in college and got married while he was in law school.  I worked and paid the bills while he was in school and continued to work until we had our first child, at which point we both decided it made more financial sense for me to stay home (I was a teacher and my salary would probably have been less than the cost of a nanny).  Plus I really wanted to be home and raise my kids.  I am extremely involved in the kids’ schools and I do 100% of the “house stuff”.  We’ve been married for close to 20 years and have a wonderful respectful marriage where we both value what the other one brings to the table.  Maybe it’s because I was a teacher before kids but I have zero regrets about spending my time with my own children rather than other peoples’.  And to answer your question I do not feel guilty at all about my husband’s financial success.  As I stated in my OP we are pretty frugal considering his income so I don’t feel like I am spending my days frivolously spending “his money”[/quote]

Thank you for answering. For the bolded, I don’t quite know but [b]I think it’s because I want her to be starring in the play rather than being in a supporting role.  She is incredibly talented and I want her to share those gifts [/b]with the world at large and make her mark.  I recognize there is a lot of my own baggage mixed up in this answer. Money has never been a driver for me, but professional success and respect have.  So I guess I want that for my daughter (and son) too. [/quote]

That’s because you value a career and money over raising children and home making.  You don’t value what is traditionally thought of as women’s work.  But not everyone feels this way.  I grew up in a conservative area and people would feel bad for a woman who has to leave her kids to work.

Regardless I’d try to temper your expectations about your child.  I get you think she is talented, but she will likely not be using her talents in a career.  The vast majority of women perform boring BS jobs to earn an income.  There are very few people, including women, who are able to earn a living on exciting talents such as working in the arts.  This is another reason many women don’t mind staying home.  Most women working are doing the equivalent of TPS reports.  Yes there are some women on this site who think their work is incredibly important and fulfilling but most women do not feel this way.  [/quote]

I'm glad YOU know what most women think and judge what is an "exciting" talent. Thank you for sharing your omniscience talent with us. [/quote]

Where did I say that?   Sorry that you really think your child is going to have a career that is focused on her talents.  You are likely raising your daughter with unrealistic expectations and who will always be unhappy working and not know why.  [/quote]

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