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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Please be nice. I'm asking because I don't know the answer.

83 year old FIL (widower)  was in the hospital for almost 2 weeks, and now is in an inpatient rehab. He had a fall, and some brain swelling. It's my understanding that he needs physical and cognitive rehab, and is expected to recover (he was mostly healthy and strong before the fall).

My husband's sister is a fantastic care coordinator. She is a RN, and has really taken over this overwhelming situation and we are very grateful. Since day 1, she's wanted someone in the hospital room with him 24 hours per day (minus brief runs to the cafeteria or hospital coffee shop). Fortunately both she and dh have been able to take lots of intermittent time off work. There are 2 other family members who can help some here and there. DH and I are the only ones with a child at home. And I also work full time and don't have much leave.

SIL wants to continue the schedule of having someone there 24/7.

My question is, is it typical to have a family member in the hospital room at all times? FIL has some confusion and short term memory problems. Physically he needs help getting up. SIL arranged for him to be in trusted top notch facilities. On top of this, we've had some general "life is hard" situations - flu, hosting Thanksgiving, out of town guests arriving, school closed all week, and a dying pet to boot. Frankly, it would be nice to have my husband available this week.

When your loved ones have been hospitalized for more than a few days, have you been there 24/7? Is this what you're supposed to do? Would it seem totally neglectful for us to say "hey, we'll come visit for a few hours but dh can't take an overnight/18+ hour shift this week, but we trust Dad will be in good hands with the rehab team." 
[/quote]

We did this 24/7 coverage for weeks for our elderly mom. It was a tag team approach so that she was never alone in the rehab. It was great for her. It was awful for everyone else. Most of us were so stressed out from the driving, barely sleeping on a cot in her room, going to work, cooking, childcare, then siblings started to miss shifts and WWIII exploded. Everyone was angry, fighting and stressed. It did some long term damage to relationships and I would never do it again and don't recommend it.[/quote]

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