Reply to My sister has asked me to adopt her baby

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Hi op. Please do some reading on adoption and it’s impacts even when done at birth. Not because you shouldn’t do it, but because if you want to parent this child it’s up to you to really learn about how to do this in their best interest. Most folks that work I. This area encourage open adoptions in the sense that even if your sister doesn’t want to be involved the child knows from the beginning that they are adopted - it’s not a surprise later. It’s just something that is a part of their reality and life. It can be very traumatic to learn at a later age tbag one was adopted and isn’t recommended to keep it a secret. And it is normal that processing the adoption at different developmental stages can look differently for different kids and be hard at some stages. There are many good books that can help. The connected child by Karen purvis is usually recommended though will gear a little towards kids who were adopted later, but some of it can still be relevant and it’s important to know that even when done at birth it can and often still feels like a loss for the child and can be traumatic for all. Again, that doesn’t mean it’s not the best path and can’t be wonderful, it sounds like it probably is. But it will go better if you are open to acknowledging and walking through the complexity of this with your child throughout their life. [/quote]

This is a great breakdown.  Also consider joining your local single mom by choice chapter — many of us have complicated family situations and they may have good advice for age appropriate ways to tell your child their origin story as well as ways to deal with your mother should the need arise.  It might help you to interact with a group where donor conceived and adopted kids are the norm rather than an anomaly too.[/quote]

This is a really good suggestion thank you. It would be nice to talk to some single moms by choice to be honest I'm pretty overwhelmed. I wanted this for very long time and I never thought that this would be my reaction[/quote]

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