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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]College professor here. Seen this many times. The timing is very very bad. I mean, it's always a bad time for your parents to divorce, but your first year away from home is pretty bad. [/quote]

I kinda feel like this is the most important post in this thread, and it's gotten lost in all the talk about...college financing.  What about the emotional well-being and development of an 18-year-old who finds out mom and dad are getting divorced.

The issues my husband and I have are not fixable, I don't even want to fix them anymore, but I go back and forth on whether I'm going to leave when our younger kid moves out or wait a little longer.  Comments like this make me think I should try to hold out for at least another couple of years until he has his feet under him at school.  I'd be curious to hear from others who have dealt with ths.[/quote]

At very least, try to stay in the family house for a few years. College kids are only at college for 8 months.  They still need a home for the other 1/3 of the year. If you take away that home while they are in the first semester, it's very difficult. Like having a rug pulled out from under you when you are already dealing with a ton of changes. By junior-senior year of college they are more settled into their new lives away from mom & dad.[/quote]

My ex- and I separated when our youngest child was a sophomore in college. We kept the family home until the youngest graduated from college. The kids are both college graduates and doing fine. They see happier parents now than the last few years prior to separation.

As a college graduate myself, I don’t think that 18-year-olds who are living away from home in college dormitories are so fragile that an unhappy marriage should remain in place for fear of disrupting their college lives far from home. If they are that fragile, they probably should not have gone to a college far from home. My ex- and I have made sure that our kids feel supported and loved, without thinking that they are unable to process their parent’s separation and divorce.[/quote]

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