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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]College professor here. Seen this many times. The timing is very very bad. I mean, it's always a bad time for your parents to divorce, but your first year away from home is pretty bad. [/quote]

I kinda feel like this is the most important post in this thread, and it's gotten lost in all the talk about...college financing.  What about the emotional well-being and development of an 18-year-old who finds out mom and dad are getting divorced.

The issues my husband and I have are not fixable, I don't even want to fix them anymore, but I go back and forth on whether I'm going to leave when our younger kid moves out or wait a little longer.  Comments like this make me think I should try to hold out for at least another couple of years until he has his feet under him at school.  I'd be curious to hear from others who have dealt with ths.[/quote]

At very least, try to stay in the family house for a few years. College kids are only at college for 8 months.  They still need a home for the other 1/3 of the year. If you take away that home while they are in the first semester, it's very difficult. Like having a rug pulled out from under you when you are already dealing with a ton of changes. By junior-senior year of college they are more settled into their new lives away from mom & dad.[/quote]

Good advice, thank you.[/quote]

NP, and one whose parents divorced while I was in my mid-20s - parents divorcing when their kids are adults really sucks, for various reasons.  Part of it is the rug being pulled out from under you during a time when *most* young adults are still building their independent lives.  Another part is the general lack of support these kids get from others; SO many people, even friends, basically told me it was no big deal and wondered why I cared.  And another part is the longer-term implications of waiting later in life to divorce.  There's less time to find a new partner, if someone wants that, but also less time to establish financial stability.  Caring for aging parents is hard enough; caring for aging parents who are floundering related to their divorces just sucks.

tl;dr - divorce as soon as you know you want to.  Waiting "for the kids" rarely does them any favors.[/quote]

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