Reply to Advice on relaxing in a high-strung household

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In your case, I would clearly communicate (or have DH, depends on capacity and dynamics):

1) The thing we want most on vacation is to sleep in.  We will all be sleeping in every day until 9or so.  So instead of 3 full meals per day, can we just plan a nice Brunch around 10, some simple crudités as lunch, then dinner at 6?  This will likely throw them off their axis in a good way—so many new menu ideas to research!

2) Yes, you need to sell them on puzzles and holiday movies as Official Plans, but you should also respect that for them, sitting around the house the entire day is clearly boring.  So let them plan one thing per day, and suggest things you would all enjoy—taking a walk after dinner in a neighborhood with lots of lights (can they take note as they drive around town if they see a great place to do this)? Going for a walk or hike, other things that might actually be open, etc…

3) You may need to ritualize the loafing around the house in order for it to feel like Official Plans.  So instead of “doing a puzzle or board game or something” have a Christmas Activity Countdown!  With a Brand New Puzzle one day, a Family Game Night, the next day, Peppermint Poker another night (just use cheap bagged peppermints as chips), and special Christmas Movie viewings on other nights with special snacks needed (for example you have to have hot chocolate with all possible additives in order to watch Elf because Buddy the elf loves hot cocoa so much. If you are going for a stroll to check out Christmas lights, bring a container of candy or cookies and make it a Competition, where you all admire and vote on the best house in the neighborhood and then leave the prize candy on their porch with a little note.  This stuff allows them to plan something specific such as food or card tables or what have you.

My guess is that a lot of the planning obsession is about them needing a checklist to feel like they made the “right” choices.

[/quote]

NP. I cannot imagine accommodating crazy people who can’t relax around their own family to this absurd degree. I totally agree with you that communication is key, but the rest of this is insane. DH communicates up front that you will all be sleeping in, and you will like to hang out at home on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, and he can suggest a few additional activities for the other days.

If they can’t stand to stay in the house, they can literally take a hike or do whatever they want. And if they can’t handle that, they shouldn’t be hosting. [/quote]

How is it overly accommodating?  I literally gave OP suggestions for how to help better get the concept of doing what OP and her family enjoys and then suggested that they could get out of the house once a day, since that is what the hosts enjoy.  Do you not compromise at all with family?[/quote]

I compromise and communicate without resorting to infantilized Krazy Kristmas Kountdown language.[/quote]

Good for you?[/quote]

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