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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have an only.

There was a time when I loved reading these posts to remind myself of why I chose to stick with one. My spouse and I made the decision very simply: do we want to raise another child, or not?

There are way too many variables at play in sibling relationships and general family dynamics to come up with a good logical argument for having another child. You can’t predict the future. Some siblings get along, some don’t. Some abuse each other. Some lean on each other and divide duties when the parents die and some argue or become estranged. You just can’t predict how child 2 will affect child 1.

This is a question of the heart, not a question of logic.

Child 1: why did you have me?
Parents: because we desperately wanted you! OR because you were a happy surprise! 
Child 2: awww, and why did you have me?
Parents: ….because we wanted to make sure your sibling had the optimal family structure that was most beneficial to their growth and development!
Child 2:…

You need to have a good answer for child #2. And in my opinion there is only one good answer: [b]we WANTED you. [/b]
[/quote]

I agree with the bolded, but I don't think it's sufficient.  I think you have to both want a child and honestly believe you can be a good parent to that child.  Some people are garbage parents of more than one (or two, or whatever).  Some (me) would struggle at parenting an only.  Many are somewhere in the middle.  But I know plenty of people who *wanted* a child, often a second or third, and didn't honestly assess their family's capacity to support another child.

All of which is to say: it's individual, OP.  Can YOUR family support another child?  PP was right that having one is simpler in many ways: less money, less time, etc., speaking generally of course.  If you value that level of simplicity and flexibility above other things, stick with one.  But maybe you have ample money and time for more than one and would really value the awesomeness of parenting more than one, of getting to know and love more than one child.  In that case, have another, etc.  Be honest about your capacity and about what you want for your life.  There are so many ways to have a happy family, regardless of size.[/quote]

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