Reply to Is moving an elderly parent into a care facility a form of 'betrayal'?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Your SIL is stupid to look at this from an emotional perspective.

What matters is:
1. The quality of care between the two settings. It will depend on the competence of the aides and the specific facility you're looking at. 
2. The evolution of the dementia. Each stage requires different care.
[/quote]

This is OP here. I agree with this.

The system they have in place - private caregivers 24/7 at MIL's home is working well and MIL seems happy. So far so good, however ... my husband started touring a few specialist care facilities because he believes there will come a time where his mother cannot be taken care of at home anymore. He wants to gather the necessary information and be prepared in case of a serious crisis.

MIL's house has stairs and even if they moved her bed downstairs, the bathroom is still upstairs. Also, she seems to get increasingly confused and agitated at night. The aides now lock all doors or she would walk out in the street on her own, nor remembering where she lives (she has tried doing this).

This is where my DH and his siblings differ in opinion. His sisters are super close to their mom and are far more emotional. They really want her to live at home, no matter what. They fear she will deteriorate and die quicker in a care facility.[/quote]

They may need to move in with her at some point. But the thing is, everyone can be right. Let DH do his research and plan it out. he doesn't have to discuss with the sisters. As long as MIL is happy and well cared for at home, he will be secure in the knowledge that he has a backup plan. If that plan is ever needed, sisters will get on board then. So much can change so quickly. 
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