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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I used to live in San Francisco and saw women maybe ten years older than me who had so much to offer and were single.  They were beautiful, athletic, great jobs, the whole thing.  And yet every guy I knew who wanted a girlfriend had one, even if they were schlubby, unemployed, whatever.   I saw the writing on the wall and moved away.

In some cities the demographics just don’t work in a woman’s favor.  [/quote]

It's true, a lot of it is demographics.  I also think part of it is truly men being intimidated.  I know this is a well-trodden cliche, but that's for a reason.  IMO a lot of men want to be in a relationship that doesnt threaten their ego- a high earning, beautiful, fit woman who is confident and well spoken is going to hold her own in the relationship.  A needy, insecure woman, with a less important job, earning less money, maybe less attractive, is probably going to sense this and bend herself over backwards for her man.  And at the end of the day, THAT is what a lot of men want from a woman.  Some woman he knows will baby him, run around after him, and treat him like a king, even if he's a slob or a loser.  [/quote]

It's not insecurity, it's common sense. Marriage is a partnership. Everyone wants to make sure they are bringing something to the table. For some men, , the easiest way for them to feel useful in a relationship is by spoiling their partner financially.

When they feel like they cannot because their partners are high earning and/ or seemingly self sufficient, they have to find other ways, and it just seems like more work.

But there are plenty of ways to contribute to a relationship: be good at fixing things, be great with children, be very caring, being good at cooking etc.

Some men just don't want to put in that effort when they can move on to the next woman who is content with them spoiling them with financial things and status. [b]Why try harder when what you have to offer is perfectly fine for the next woman?[/b]

I have friends in loving relationships with men who make half of what these women make. These men put in the work: they cook, they fix things around the house, they take care of the kids etc. Other men may decide that it's easier when you bring in the bacon. So they go for women who see bringing home the bacon as a good enough contribution. Financially successful women will not.

I am not even financially successful compared to my DH but his salary would not have impressed me, because I have the potential to make much more than he does. I was impressed by how caring he was and how helpful he was around the house.   Why should a man who is not that helpful go for a woman like me when it's going to end in disappointment? I say these men are smart to choose women who would be happy with the contributions that they are willing to make. 
[/quote]

Well, the obvious Darwinian argument is because you want the best offspring possibly and the beautiful, highly educated woman is going to give that to you better than the average looking, not super smart/ambitious woman.

But men have never really been great at long term thinking when it comes to mating.  Theyre very convenience focused.[/quote]

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