Reply to Disciplinary action or not? Any Tips?

Forum Index » College and University Discussion

Reply to "Disciplinary action or not? Any Tips?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Im so sorry that some on this thread have resorted to name calling. However the facts are:

My original post should have said “should have been in detention studying” instead of “should have been studying”. I apologize for that omission. Detention at the school involves going to study hall for the evening to study while others have free time. This evening happened to be a school dance. I hope this is clearer.
DD was assigned detention for tardiness
Detention was held on campus during the school dance (it’s a boarding school if that helps)
She went to the dance and lied to the proctor and two other adults about her whereabouts

I already admitted that it was wrong and am not trying to downplay the issue. She violated school rules, acknowledges it was terrible and apologized for it. While I don’t condone lying, admit she screwed up majorly, and applied punishment of our own after she returned home, I still offer some grace and I didn’t think it warranted a withdrawal in lieu of dismissal but it was the school’s prerogative to do as they wished.

I really came to this forum looking for some guidance and amidst all this, have managed to get some very useful advice which we will take to heart and thank you all for your comments. I wont hang on to technicalities and will make sure her narrative is honest, more complete and clear as this issue is not necessarily disqualifying.

Her transcript has nothing Salacious to report.

Was this bad, yes, it was a lapse in judgement which she has learned from and continues to work through but does a lapse in judgement albeit a lie she told to multiple adults make her evil, I don’t think so. She has shown remorse and will certainly not lie again. She now understands that when you join a community you promise to abide by their rules and if you don’t, you suffer the consequences which she clearly has, and has learned from her mistakes.

I’m sorry she lied despite knowing better, but I have chosen to extend some grace to her and will stand by her as she learns to navigate this and other challenges in life.
[/quote]

My reading is that your daughter lied 3 times to 3 different adults about the same incident while skipping detention to attend a dance at her boarding school. This is more than a single lapse in judgment; her judgment lapsed four times.

If my reading is correct, then expulsion is the appropriate punishment. Allowing her to withdraw from the school was a gift.

If you disclose, disclose fully. Be aware that deliberately being untruthful multiple times is worse than academic dishonesty on a single occasion. And academic dishonesty is a serious rules violation. Although your daughter's behavior does not involve academic dishonesty, I think that her transgressions will be viewed in a serious manner by selective colleges and universities. FWIW I know of specific cases of academic dishonesty (cheating) at elite boarding schools and the students ended up at a top 25 public National University and another ended up at Trinity College in Dublin, Ireland. However, I do not know whether or not there was any disclosure of the academic dishonesty.

I have no recommendation because you need guidance from one with specific knowledge of all facts and variables.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics