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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]There is more than one poster in this thread whose kids have done well. I'm one of them, and I'm not the quoted one above. My kids have done well, I know you want me to say oh it's awful and messed up, but in fact they're not and our lives are going along well.[/quote]

My kids, 19 and 17, are ok *now.*

It’s been four years. The first three were really rough including a stay in a partial hospitalization program for one of them. Lots of expensive therapy for both. Increased risk taking and depression for the younger one. I wouldn’t say the divorce was high conflict on a sustained basis — we genuinely put the kids first. But if messed them up, no doubt about it. They’re “ok” now but I wouldn’t say they weren’t forever damaged.

Some of it is also seeing their mother without me as the buffer. Throw in her affair which one of them deduced and told the other about and there was more disillusionment. It also hurt my relationship with the older one who deduced the affair because she would constantly grill me for details and I would never discuss it with her so she saw that as an invalidation of her feelings (I couldn’t figure out how to talk about it without it sounding like I was disparaging her mother, which I wasn’t willing to do). I tried to redirect those questions to a therapist but she took that as rejection. It was a rough couple of years, I am not going to lie. [/quote]

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