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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Soup isn’t going to be enough. Is this a private school? Most middle and high schools allow nuts.

Ravioli/tortellini with sauce would be my recommendation. Look at jarred sauces at the store and pick the one with the most calories. We use Rao’s Sensitive Marinara.

My teen is in recovery from anorexia, so unfortunately I have experience with this.

If she’s a slow eater AND a picky eater AND you have trouble with her weight, please look into ARFID. If it resonates at all, please get her treatment. You do not want this to persist into adulthood, and it can create health issues, short and long term.[/quote]

She doesn't like anything with tomatoes, so sauce is out.  Generally all condiments or sauces are out.  Butter is a preferred favorite.

I read up on ARFID and it does resonate somewhat.  But I would say she is much less pickier now, then she used to be between the ages of 6-8.  She will at least try everything now.  But the complete lack of interest in eating, lack of appetite, and also the frequent choking episodes (going down the wrong pipe), and lack of growth- that all sounds familiar.   What does treatment look like for ARFID?

Her aunt also had a very severe eating disorder, but she says now that it was just undiagnosed celiac disease.  We have tested multiple times for celiac.[/quote]

EDs are genetic, so your daughter is at risk, regardless of symptoms. Celiac and EDs have a high co-morbity rate - in fact, I’ve read that everyone diagnosed with ED should be tested for celiac. It is very possible her aunt had both.

Treatment for ARFID is a mix of CBT, exposure therapy, food-chaining. You want someone who used evidence-based methods (they should use that phrase). Ask what specific methods they use. They should be able to back each one up. Talk therapy is a waste of time here, as is yoga, equine therapy, etc.

Lack of growth is a big red flag, btw.

I don’t know if this will help motivate, but picky eating can have a big impact on your social life later. Dating, lunch meetings at work, etc. My high school BFF was a crazy picky eater, and it has impacted her whole life. [/quote]

OP here. This is kind of going down a rabbit hole, but I need to think on this.  I'm familiar with EDs because I was involved in the family therapy portion for the aunt, who has been hospitalized and admitted to ED clinics several times, and it was kind of awful.  She also had a therapist.  But I really believe that all of that intervention only made things worse for her for a long time.  She had been tested for celiac throughout her life as well, but only tested positive for it about 8 years ago, and she has been doing well since then.  She also had growth issues as a tween/teen and is very small.  So I have all that in the back of my mind because I do see similarities.  And yet I feel the treatment she received made her worse, and only exposed her to some pretty severe eating disorders, and in a way, she was kind of competitive in that environment -" who can go to the most extreme" that type of competitiveness, to get the sympathy, attention, care, and to some extent - envy of the others in treatment.

So I am fearful of intervention, because I feel it can sometimes make it worse.  And this is such a complex, tricky thing that is different for each person, and with our child, she is so oppositional to any kind of intervention, it would be extremely stressful and challenging to take that on.  Also, I do believe she is doing much better with breakfast and dinners.  The lunches has been challenging because she seems to rarely finish them, and she says she doesn't have time.[/quote]

Different poster here with a kid in recovery from multiple EDs. Don't try to apply the treatment experience for whatever happened with your aunt. Thinking and treatment have evolved a lot since then. I'd encourage you to research more. https://www.feast-ed.org/

*Calories in* is the most important thing. Once her brain and body are better-nourished/healed, a lot of the oppositional behavior drops. Undernourishment really screws with the brain's reward pathways and sets these kids into a negative spiral of feeling good when they starve themselves. You need to reset that. The quicker, the better. [/quote]

She was actually eating much, much better, for at least a few years.  And she was eating fine during the summer.  But since she started MS this fall, I've noticed she has become pickier again and not finishing her meals.  So I think stress really affects her eating behaviors.  But you are prompting me to track her eating better, because now that I think of it, I am not sure if she is eating enough throughout the day.[/quote]

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