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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][b][quote=Anonymous]OP, to answer a question like yours it might be helpful for you to look at the scenario from a different angle.

Specifically, how would you feel if your husband had an affair with a co-worker he clicked with and found attractive? Would you be relieved and feel free to explore something with your crush? Would you be hurt and try to wring every last cent from him in the divorce?

As noted up post, people often think that if they have an affair it will not lead to the end of their marriage. However, most men divorce wives that cheat on them.

[b]My experience here was that my ExDW had a brief affair and thought that if she told me about it I would work harder as a husband to make her happy. Instead, I dumped her as quickly as possible. [/b]

My teenage daughter choose to live with my post-divorced and she had to leave her job as her AP was a co-worker. Her AP remained married for years afterward (until another affair blew up) and I remarried someone much better in every way, someone I would not have found without her mistake.[/quote]

I’m the PP from above and the above bolded is it exactly.  In my delusional mind I thought my affair would wake up something in my husband and he’d fight for our relationship and we’d come out of it a stronger couple.  I was a complete idiot.  [/quote]

This is why I would divorce a cheater in this case. It would nit be the cheating, but the audacity to put the onus on me to fight for the relationship. That's why I say, you tell me, and I am out. Because those who tell want their spouse to fight for them. I am not fighting for someone who already cheated on me. They have to fight for me.

If they have that mentality, I am out.[/quote]

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