Reply to Is moving an elderly parent into a care facility a form of 'betrayal'?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Once the person stops recognizing their home as home, all bets are off. My aunt constantly tried to leave (her home of 30 years) to go home and find her mother. When we prevented her, she became violent- we moved her to Silverado in Alexandria and she was much safer and well cared for.[/quote]

OP here. 
My MIL is the same. She doesn't always recognize her house as 'home'. Sometimes she thinks she lives elsewhere and she says she wants 'to go home'.
There are signs on the walls saying that this is her house but I don't think it makes any difference. She doesn't really read them unless someone points them out to her.
She does remember things from her distant past and her childhood though, sometimes in detail, and sometimes mixed up with facts from a different story.

We'll have to wait and see how her illness develops.[/quote]

When dementia patients say they want to go home (whether they are still in their long time home or a care facility), they don’t mean a physical place. They want to go to the place that was familiar and safe. They no longer feel like they are in a familiar place no matter where they are. It’s best to either tap into the feelings (what do you miss about your home?) or do therapeutic lying (your home is being fixed and once it’s ready you can go home). Don’t try to convince them that they are home or that the MC/AL facility is their home. Step into their reality. [/quote]

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