Reply to When do you allow your teen/tween to date?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would say high school (so 14) is probably old enough for most kids, with limits. 16 for dates where they are driving or being picked up.

I was in some uncomfortable situations when "dating" at 13. I would not allow it in middle school.[/quote]

So my son dated a girl who was not allowed to date in middle school.  She had his name in her phone as a female friend and deleted texts he sent her as well.  They met up at school and after school in groups.  I did not know this girl's parents.

You're really much better off having an open dialogue with your kids so that you can talk to them about potential uncomfortable situations and how to handle things.[/quote]

This is a different poster, but so what?  My daughter and I are not the Gilmore Girls.  I don’t need to know all of the ins and outs of her teenage social life.  My job is to set the rules.  Hers is to mostly follow them, but to push against them and break them sometimes.

You should have told you son not to see this girl behind her parent’s back, them called the girl’s parents to tell them what’s going on.  You’re the grownup here.  You could have handled this better.  [/quote]

You parent how you want to parent.

It is not my job to tell a parent I've never met that their kid is sneaking around.   That would have completely violated my own child's trust, something that I would do only if I find out serious or life-altering information about someone's health and well-being.  Sorry someone's daughter sneaking around and "dating" in middle school is not that.  Figure it out for yourself.[/quote]

100% agree. My kids talk a lot to me. A lot of my kid’s friends talk to me too. They are open and trust me. I am not going to break the trust of my own kids by ratting out a trivial thing as middle school dating. I am always the mom that drives 4-6 middle schoolers at a time and they talk non stop like I am an Uber. I got so much tea. I laugh as I think about how awkward this age is. But unless there is a safety issue, I will not be contacting parents. And I am darn sure to stay out of the manipulative mom engineers who all gossip to each other and decide their kid’s friendships. So no mommy friends here. I have my own. [/quote]

Oh.  So you’re Amy Piglet’s character in “Mean Girls?”  [/quote]

Not the PP but you believe that being open with your kids and not managing their friendships and their moms is this character? Sounds like you are realizing how little your kids confide in you and your only response is snide retorts.  That is really sad.  Some inner reflecting could benefit you. [/quote]

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