Reply to Permanently canceling annual trip

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[quote=Anonymous]I understand the situation pretty well, OP because my husband's brother's wife is a lot like Flo (she's from the Balkans and always claims that as a reason for her abusive nature--"in my country, we have big personalities and everyone yells at each other" she has told us many times). She's also very uptight about seemingly insignificant things and, strangely, one of her big things is that her kids must always wear the correct footwear indoors or outdoors so I laughed about your slipper comment.

Since she's family and we want to keep seeing my BIL and nephew and niece, I feel there is no escaping her...

But in your case, you definitely are totally justified in just not inviting her anymore. Make it clear to Hank that he and the kids are wonderful and you want to maintain your relationship w them. Have your husband invite just Hank to do things, or invite just the kids to do things, or do as PP suggested and have the dads and kids go to the lake house without making it a whole family affair. Arrange get togethers w Hank and kids for times when Flo is gone. I wouldn't bring up Flo as reason for stopping invites unless Hank presses you on it. If he does, I think it's fine to say "to be honest, Flo is always yelling and complaining and doesn't seem to enjoy the trip. We don't feel comfortable when we vacation with her due to her yelling and complaining/criticizing." Hank may be upset to hear this but I'm sure he would understand where you're coming from.[/quote]

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