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Parenting -- Special Concerns
Reply to "Changing children’s last name to biological mom who used sperm donor"
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[quote=Anonymous]Another donor mom here. OP I feel for your inner turmoil but PPs recognizing that this is about you, not your kids, are spot on. You have a ton of personal issues at play: your acceptance of your IVF journey, shedding cultural guilt/baggage, your father's ill health. These issues are real and challenging, and you deserve the space to process them. But kindly, upending things for your kids isn't the way to do that. Because family secrets don't stay secret forever (IME), something tells me these kids will learn their origin eventually, and maybe they'll want to change their name then. Who knows? But it should be their choice. In the meantime, your bigger question is do you want to stay with this guy? This sounds like a relationship born of necessity that has run its course. I don't hear any attachment to him in your post. I'd examine that and be honest. Ten more years is a long time to stay with someone you no longer love. [/quote]
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