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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I get it. My parents died when I was in my 20s. I was very close to my father. I am 55 now and it still hurts. The hardest part was my children not having grandparents (my DH's parents not involved at all), especially at schools where a "grandparents day" was a big deal. A wonderful principal had a beautiful solution- He would offer that kids without grandparents living near them could bring an older person without grandchildren from the church to the grandparents event. My kids built a beautiful relationship with a widowed woman who did not have children of her own. [/quote]

We too have adopted a grandmother, or she adopted us.  It was mutual.  She was our neighbor when we first moved here, and now she's an integral part of our lives.  She never had kids, and while my MIL is alive, when we do see MIL she nitpicks on the kids about everything, in an annoying but not mean way.  That's her love language I guess. Last night we had our surrogate grandma over for dinner, and my daughter introduced her as her grandma.  Grandma said, "[i]I'm the surrogate Grandma[/i]" (she doesn't want to step on MIL's toes even when she's not around), but my son quickly corrected, "you are the Grandma we[i] choose[/i] to love and spend time with."  Which made her day.

So if possible, look for another grandma to add to your family.  Everyone needs more people to love and to be loved in return.

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