Reply to Schadenfreude with my MIL

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, am I right in suspecting that they said things like:
-It was God’s will
-God wanted the baby home with Him

Or something else spiritual?

I’m not defending that, at all, it’s just such a rote thing for older people who are religious to say. They may have experienced their family saying such things their entire lives.

I’m sorry for your pain, and for their insensitive reaction to your loss. I can hear the hurt in your post, and the anger. I’m not being glib when I say that I hope you are talking to a good therapist or grief counselor. I wish you well and I wish I could give you a hug.

And to the rest of you: OP has not done or said anything inappropriate. She is voicing here her pain and anger and her instinct to hurt them the way they hurt her, which she has not acted upon. Thoughts and impulses are not crimes. OP is responsible for her words and actions, not her thoughts. Don’t be such massive hypocrites—we have ALL had dark and immature and unproductive *thoughts.*[/quote]

Welp, then they don't really have a leg to stand on if OP puts her hand on MIL's arm and says sepulchrally, "God wants FIL home with Him. It's his Will."  [/quote]

Pretty much this, except I'm not as inhuman as they are. I would never tell someone with an unexpected medical diagnosis what they said to me. But my guess is, even if I did, they wouldn't get it. I have absolutely no feelings of compassion for them and trust them like I would any person that has shown themselves to be cruel to others. [/quote]

But you are as inhuman as they are, you’re just choosing not to tell them. You have become what you hate. Holding hatred and vitriol in your heart will destroy you. You forgive others for yourself, not for them.  I’m not saying you have to have a relationship with them, just that you should try to be better than they are. Right now, you’re not.  [/quote]

NP. Thinking something and saying something are different things.
You can think about yelling “fire!” In a crowded theater. But if you say it, you will be arrested.

Do you get it? [/quote]
This is actually a great analogy. No one thinks OP should be arrested. But if someone *wanted* to instigate chaos and danger by yelling fire, and the only thing stopping them is the fear of consequences, you’d think that person is pretty malicious. People are reacting to the nastiness of the impulse, even though OP is too afraid to act on it.

Do you get it?[/quote]

Not impressed by your use of this freedom of speech analogy. [/quote]

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