Reply to How to help kids not date/marry people who trash talk their folks

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My mom once told me to try to avoid marrying someone who doesn't get along with his family. She said either that person is right and you'd be marrying into a family with difficult people OR the person you are dating is the difficult person. Either way it's bad news.

It was pretty good advice![/quote]

No, it's not.  It's far better to be with someone who recognizes the dysfunction of their family and take steps to establish/maintain healthy boundaries than be with someone who can't recognize they've been condition to accept dysfunction and allows their partner and kids to be subjected to it.  [/quote]

I would rather be with someone who works on themselves and has empathy and understanding. [/quote]

People from healthy families have empathy and understanding. Working through "dysfunction" of one's family isn't necessary.[/quote]

Your romanization of 'healthy' families is indicative of your immature and limited life experience.  Just because families are 'healthy' doesn't mean everyone in the family is.  Empathy doesn't always come naturally to people and understanding requires knowledge of motivation, cause/effect, etc.  You demonstrate neither which helps me understand why you romanticize 'healthy' families.  [/quote]

I don't romanticize healthy families. My point is, you don't have to come from a dysfunctional family and work out your issues to have empathy. [b]Some people raise their children to have empathy[/b].

Mean spirited posts like yours are not good advertisements for working out one's family-of-origin issues. FYI.[/quote]

Except, that's not what you said.  You made an absolute statement that "People from healthy families have empathy and understanding".  That is vastly different than your bolded statement.  You also know nothing of my family of origin and your statement about 'mean spirited' posts highlights dysfunction can occur no matter what kind of family you come from. [/quote]

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