Reply to How to handle jealousy/loss of friends when kids makes a higher level team?

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Reply to "How to handle jealousy/loss of friends when kids makes a higher level team?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They’re kids who felt disappointed and perhaps insecure about their own ability and they didn’t handle it gracefully. Hardly seems shocking or something that needs to be delicately explained to your son other than “they probably see a little jealous, like you felt when you didn’t get a part in the play.” And the idea that you’re rethinking whether people are kind at heart based on this is frankly nuts and makes me wonder whether your being overly sensitive. [/quote]

I would use the word “disappointed” rather than “jealous”. Keeps the focus n the other kids’ likely feelings (not making the team or getting the cool opportunity). This helps your kid feel empathy. (“Yeah, I can see how it would be disappointing.)

Inserting the idea of “jealousy” complicates things because it focuses your kid on his experience as the victim/object of their feelings, which makes it harder to feel empathy. And that’s the key learning opportunity here. Their behavior may not be the nicest, but their feelings are completely understandable. 
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+1[/quote]

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