Reply to Why does everyone always ask where your kids go to college??

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Whenever you meet new people or talk about your kids being college age, inevitably the person needs to know where they go to school. 
Do we all feed into this and then get judged (or appreciated) depending on where they go?

I find myself doing it, and it’s asked of me all the time.

No wonder rankings have become so “important”

[/quote]

I'm not asking so I can judge you.  I'm asking because I want to get to know you, and your kids are part of your life.

I don't care if you answer Montgomery College or Harvard.  [/quote]

So you ask “where is x in college” and they say they don’t go to college they wait tables or they are work retail, and you think it’s still okay to say “where do they go to college”[/quote]

A few months ago, I was at a kids' sporting event and I was making conversation with another mom and she mentioned her sons were out of HS. A little bit later in the convo I said, oh are they away at college? I was asking to be polite and take an interest, and I guess just figure out how many she still has at home. She said, oh they're in the trades, but yes they're college age. And then I asked about their jobs. I felt so bad that I said it like that. But she was a completely normal person and did not make me feel bad at all and we continued with our pleasant convo. I agree, you shouldn't make the assumption about college, but when 90% of the 18 year olds you know are going to college, you forget at times.[/quote]

This is why most acquaintances begin with "So what are they up to these days?" or something like that.  And then usually the parent says "they are at x school"  but sometimes they answer "off at college" or another answer like they are in the trades, or military or whatever.  When someone answers "off at college" without the name I figure they might have some reason they don't like to talk about where so I don't ask and just move on to something else, or ask something generic and benign like "How's that going?" which they can answer in a generic way about their kid, about how it's going for them as a parent, or shut it down with "great."  I figure a parent who doesn't give specifics about where unprompted shouldn't be asked for specifics.  It could be because it's an elite school and they don't want to seem like they are bragging or be pumped for information.  It could because they have a general philosophy of letting their children choose whether or not to share their own information.  It could be because there's a long-winded story about why they went to this school that they are tired of telling but the fact that it's an unusual place always prompts people to ask.  Who knows?[/quote]

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