Reply to Mom with 1 kid vs more kids have more time/energy for herself

Forum Index » General Parenting Discussion

Reply to "Mom with 1 kid vs more kids have more time/energy for herself"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Of course it's true that "mom[s] with 1 kid have more time/energy to do things for herself because 1 kid is a lot easier to manage." People have strong opinions on what family size is the correct one (spoiler: there's no universally correct answer), but nobody can credibly claim that the responsibility of raising two humans is easier than raising one. Humans suck at multitasking and parenting multiple kids is a decades long exercise in multitasking. It's exhausting, even if it's also joyful and enriching. [/quote]

Agree with all this. I think part of the problem is that there is stigma against having only one child so something you hear a lot is not only that having two is "better" but that it is "easier". The argument will be that the kids entertain each other and that you've already acclimated to parenthood do a lot of the stuff that was hard the first time around won't be hard this time. And while those things might (emphasis *might*) be true, nothing changes the fact that two kids means two whole people you need to raise, two sets of teachers and friends and activities and needs. Of course it's harder.

The other one that made me laugh (and also annoyed me) was when we would tell people that we were likely going to stick with one in part for financial reasons and they would tell us that two kids really doesn't cost much more than one. I mean it's comical. Sure there are some economies of scale -- they can share a room and in some cases can use the same clothes and toys and gear. But two kids is not just a little more than one. It's a lot more. Even with stuff like sibling discounts for activities, you are still talking about hundreds of thousands of dollars over the course of that child's life. Or if not that much, it means that you will be dividing however much you have to spend on kids between two kids, so less for everyone. I'm not saying this is a reason for people who really want two kids to stop but it's absolutely a factor.

When people tell you "two is easier than one" or "it's really not much more financially" DO NOT LISTEN TO THEM. They are lying. Why is complicated, but these are lies people tell.[/quote]

I have four, and I absolutely agree with you.  I have no idea why people say this stuff.  It’s like they are trying to trick new parents.

My mom actually told SIL that having one was easier than being childfree because it was easier to make friends and participate in family activities.

People lie!![/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics