Reply to My DS is a freshman and is really happy, but I feel depressed that I limited his options.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I understand you.  Both my spouse and I are struggling with the same dilemma.

We are self employed, so retirement, healthcare costs, possible unemployment or disability is all on us. So, we have always  put a lot into retirement and savings for this reason.  We also have saved for college but not $300K per child, which is what some of these expensive elite privates cost.   We also have a younger child.

DC is a top student but a lot of the top private universities don't give out merit aid. So, it's going to be full pay. We make too much for financial aid.

Is the price tag for some of these private universities really worth it?  We feel badly if we have to limit DC's college choices simply because of finances, but at the same time, I don't know if it's really worth raiding our savings/retirement for it.

For us, though, DC hasn't applied yet to any colleges, but the list DC put together is not cheap.  We've had the money talk with DC, and I feel so badly for limiting DC's choices.[/quote]

I don't get this attitude AT ALL.  My college choices were limited by my parents' finances.  This is completely normal.  This is just life in this country.  You feel bad because (1) you've absorbed the message that the "top private universities" are the best, and (2) you don't have unlimited resources.  There are lots of good colleges that produce happy, productive, employable graduates.  If your kid graduates without significant debt, they are off to a great start, with far more options than if they graduate with a lot of debt.  [/quote]

Yeah, OP, I mean this kindly but this is either your anxiety taking over, or a UMC/wealthy standard that if you don't have every choice possible and the best of the best, you've failed. It's completely normal to consider financial limitations among all the other stuff like size, location, and fit. Most people do. It's not traumatic. [/quote]

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