Reply to Did you feel better after going no-contact with your mom?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I cut mine off close to three years ago. No regrets.  It is because, as another poster said, underneath her cheerful, helpful persona is a chilling darkness and rage that comes out whenever anyone extends an olive branch to her to be close. The death of my father was the final turning point.  In the last five minutes of his life, as I held his hand and he was taking his final breaths, she flew into a rage at me because I was looking at him instead of I wasn't hanging on her every word where she taked about how ready she was for him to die.  As he took his final breath, she vapidly yelled out to him, "Yep, we'll be together again someday, ok, bye!!!!" My father's death and funeral felt like a scene from a David Lynch movie, only it was real.  She showed up, dressed like she was leaving for a cruise and then proceeded to dance next to my father's casket while smirking and staring off into la la land. She then gave a disgusting eulogy where she cut into his character and then lectured his silbings for not being better people.."all in good fun", you know.  My father was dead, quite literally, for less than two minutes and she was off in another room with a friend yukking it up over how skinny and fit she was when she met him and all the fabulous trips he took her on.  I locked myself in the bathroom and wanted to puke.

[b]Over the course of the first month I kept noticing the interior of my body relaxing its grip...it's as though my body was telling me "thank you, you finally listened...you can let your guard down now, you are safe and free now." [/b] Little by little, the world began to look brighter and not every person I encountered seemed intimidating anymore...in fact, most people seemed warm. Since I felt safer in my body, I was able to be more present...and able to discuss conflicts with people calmly without shutting down.

[b]I finally listened to my body/my instincts[/b]...cut her off...and when I did...whoosh, energy and happiness began to flow through my system like water and sunlight....

[/quote]

i was a compulsive overeater who binged for years and years to deal with the pain and trauma of my mom's abuse. when i cut her and my sister off at last, i lost 80 lbs within two years. no diets, no grief, no exercise issues ... it just came off.

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