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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I just found out one of my closest childhood friends, a female married to a male, is queer. How did I learn this? Her Twitter profile, of course.

I don't really care how she is queer, or why. I just think that is absurd. We talk about once a week. I've known her for more than forty years. I have opinions I'd never share with her about how silly that seems to me.

I have also, I am fairly sure, led a much more smorgasbord of a sex life than she ever has... But I don't consider myself to be queer. [/quote]

It’s identifying into a group.  Human beings crave belonging to a community.  In the absence of clans or religion or even bowling leagues, we’ve turned sexual identity and orientation into groups that provide a sense of belonging.  And if you’re not actually gay, just call yourself queer and you can join too.  [/quote]

For many of us, our friends are our family.  That’s why we have the term chosen family.  I don’t know a single queer adult that didn’t lose people when they came out.

Coming out as a bi woman married to a cishet man on twitter is fine.  I refuse to erase bi women in hetero marriages.  That’s still a valid queer identity.  Straight people constantly claim that bi men are just closeted gay me. And bi women are just doing it for attention.  Bi people are real.

I consider myself pansexual and I’m married.  My sexuality isn’t invalidated just because I’m monogamous.[/quote]

Why do you need your sexuality to be validated?  Who is validating it for you?[/quote]

I don’t need it validated by you.  Why do you care if I tell people I’m pan? [/quote]

DP. I care because it’s absurd to claim you’re in the same situation as someone who is a visible minority and could still be subject to the death penalty in many countries. You’re a kinky straight woman. Nobody needs to know. You don’t get a medal for it. [/quote]

I’m a non-passing trans woman.  I’m still attracted to and have sex dreams about men and women.  I also really find non binary people like Ess Hödlmoser hot AF.  My sexuality is barely relevant in my life though.  My transness is front and center every time I leave my front door.[/quote]

Are you the PP? So you were a gay male couple and now you are a non-passing trans woman? Yes that is pretty darn queer. And not the subject of this post![/quote]

I am that poster but I wasn’t ever married to a man although I have dated men before.  I am married to a woman.  This woman also dated women before.  She liked me before transition and she likes the changes.  I’m not a straight person and I married someone that’s also queer because I never dated straight people.

But you’re right this isn’t the point of the post.  The point is about cishet people claiming to be queeer however others are attempting to invalidate me for no reason based on assumption in their own heads.  The assumption that I was a straight cis woman says more about many of the other people in this thread than it does about me.  I do not invalidate bisexual people in straight relationships.  They are still queer.  It’s not “kinky” to be attracted to other genders.  It’s who you fundamentally are.  I was defending a bisexual woman that isn’t here to defend herself and three posters later I’m being called a kinky cishet woman.  My life would be a lot easier if that was the case.[/quote]

Stop centering yourself in a discussion that isn't about you.

I am sure my friend with the Twitter profile considers herself queer. Just like all her other geeky friends who go to the same cons and read the same books do. It's more akin to a middle school popularity contest (IMHO) than actually sleeping with women on the side, or with one's husband.

And it's her business.

I'm just amused, because as I said, I've had a much more sexually adventurous life--and one thing it's taught me is... I'm straight )[/quote]

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