Reply to What's the problem with dating a separated person?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Agreed. If they could wave a wand and be divorced they would be; they are only still married because of laws and courts that are outside their control. There’s probably more risk of reffing back together with ex, but that risk exists for people who were in long-term relationships that aren’t marriages. Good luck, OP, get it gurrll.[/quote]

They are still married because they decided to marry and then did not initiate divorce proceedings sooner. A relationship where you wave a magic wand and it's over exists, it's just one where you aren't married and don't own property together. All divorces have baggage, even the amical "good" ones, it takes time to wind them up, getting serious with someone before you've even signed the paperwork is a red flag.

I don't think the main risk "he might reunite with his [soon to be] ex." It's that he is not actually single and still has to jump through a bunch of hoops before he is.

I have met people who still haven't worked through the emotional impact of their marriage/divorce 2-3 years later. If there are kids, longer.[/quote]

DP. Most divorced people I know were over their marriage at least 3 years before the initiated a divorce. I especially have not met one woman who was not already emotionally done at the time of separation. I read it takes women an average of 5 years to initiate a divorce after they start thinking it and men, 2. In the majority of cases people have been over it a long time before a divorce. The actual separation to divorce period is just a waiting period to untangle the legal and financial partnership. Do not know anyone who are not over it already when they separate…even those with kids. They have usually waited forever to make it work before starting the process. (I am divorced.)[/quote]

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