Reply to Almost got into an accident, how to deal with in-laws?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I have to agree that you are overreacting. I would hope you don’t feel like you have to avoid him going forward at family events! That’s way overkill here, especially since he apologized and acknowledged feeling bad. Do you tend to hold on to hurts for a long time, or expect perfection in others?[/quote]

OP here. No, I certainly don't expect perfection from others. I expect a basic level of human decency, which apparently is higher than other people's. Most recently, BIL was dealing with job issues. When I heard, I passed along contacts I had in his industry. To me, that's what families do, help each other out, even if we're not close. (Yes, I know the communication in this family is weird. Everything goes through DH/SIL re kids, MIL/FIL, etc. It's just the way it is.)

Anyways, reading through the comments here have been oddly therapeutic. I'm continuing on walks with my baby. We go through the same intersection. I'm feeling fine and staying vigilant. I'm letting go. Just wanted to come back here and give an update.
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OP, I have a relative like you.  You don't expect perfection, but you expect the world to live by your rules and your standards.  Those who don't, are wrong.  You offend easily and then become difficult to deal with as you expect the world and others to cater to you and your standards.  You don't care to learn what other people's standards.  You have "the right way or the highway" attitude and judge those who don't live by your standards and the world around you has to walk on eggshells for fear of violating one of your unwritten judgmental rules.  You have a arrogance and condescension that you and your ways are always right.  BIL had job problems, so you magnanimously passed on job contacts.  I bet if he was appropriately grateful for your unasked for help, that you would have been upset and felt that he wasn't appropriately groveling to your magnanimity.

People like you are exhausting.  Frankly, you would be doing your in-laws a favor by distancing yourself from them.  Then they wouldn't always be waiting for the other shoe to drop in every encounter with you.

I hope you do a little introspection on yourself and figure out how to be more accepting of people as they are and not expect the world to live to your standards.  [/quote]

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