Reply to Lack of In-law Support

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t expect her to do anything for me. Just ask how are you. [/quote]

She asked you and you said "not great".[/quote]

Not after I had a kid. She said nothing. And she actually didn’t ask how u was that time she just went me an overly positive thank you message even though she knew I was going through a crisis. When I said it’s not great she ignored me. [/quote]

She has multiple kids and no spouse. You have one kid. And she’s taking care of their parents single-handedly.

Get over yourself.[/quote]

+1. SIL has raised a few kids, alone, and is now taking care of 2 parents. That's a lot of people. And OP is drowning with one kid in daycare and two parents taking care of it? She's mad she had to do the dishes once while pregnant? Does OP realize lots of women work standing on their feet up until they deliver? Or if she has another baby she'll be doing lots of things "while heavily" pregnant and won't be fawned over and allowed to sit with her feet up all day? You need a reality check, OP. Your in-laws were never going to swoop in and make it all easy for you. [/quote]

SIL isn’t a single mom. She had help from her partner and parents and my DH on occasion. Also, I just ask that she not make my life harder by demanding my husband leave. I have no reason to care for someone who took advantage of me taking her parents to the bathroom for years. [/quote]

Okay but it’s not like your husband is literally at her house renovating her kitchen for her. He’s taking care of his parents as he should. Where are your parents?[/quote]

No he has no requirement to care for people when we have to focus on our family. It’s going to break us apart. [/quote]

If he's lucky!  [/quote]

That’s so nice. Do you know that he throws things and screams at me when he projects the stress of his parents on me? This started right when we got married/got pregnant. I am in therapy mostly dealing with how to cope with someone who I thought would care for me as his parents and instead projects his guilt and fears onto me. If anything, I’ve been more patient after the first time he threw something and yelled how it wasn’t stressful when I was helping him provide care when it was (like helping people prep every meal when they suddenly lost that ability to do so). I did it and got criticized for not being strong enough when the elder care made me horribly depressed and scared of my new husband. So really tell me again how I am awful for saying enough and I can’t take it anymore. I am trying for my kid to create a secure base and his unresolved anger is not helping. [/quote]

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