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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You set him up to fail by not only putting him in charge of something so important for a family event, but also adding an extra mystery size of an identical product into the mix. My husband can be a bit careless sometimes. Two things:

1) I would put him in charge of packing, but if it was something mission-critical like wedding wear, I’d either double check the items were packed myself, or I would ask him, “Did you pack Jimmy and Bobby’s tuxes?”

2) Going into a situation like that, I would have already removed the extraneous size from the mix and stored it or what have you.

For anyone who claims that would be enabling bad behavior…yeah, but he’s clearly not going to become a careful, think-it-through, follow-through person overnight just because of magical thinking.

For everyday stuff, if he forgets to pack his own sunglasses for the beach, oh well, looks like he’ll have to go to Sunsations and make do with what he can find. For a family wedding involving flights, I’m going to make sure we all have our full and proper outfits packed.

We play to our strengths: I help keep him organized, and he’s the one who talks me down when I’m spiraling out from anxiety. [/quote]

Heaven forbid an adult male has to act like an actual adult.

I asked him a week ago if he returned the one that didn’t fit and he said no and I asked before if he remembered the tuxes. He then packed them abd I reminded him he needed to get the shoes as well.

I need him to handle this because it’s his family and he’s in the bridal party and on all the communication and in the wedding party too. I didn’t get all the emails, updates etc. what to order. [/quote]

Then…WHY ARE YOU ASKING US? Sounds like you told him he was in charge, he failed, and your kid wore a wrong size. What do you need from us? Would you like a cookie, a validation stamp, or urging for divorce? How can we help you know how to feel?[/quote][/quote]

To what the con census is which is that women need to do it all and I’m wrong and setting him up for failure if he had a task. [/quote]

No, I think the consensus is that if someone has adhd or never has tasks, it’s best not to put them in charge of important tasks, especially things that will be obvious to the public of done incorrectly. I probably would’ve put him in charge of packing replaceable clothes or cleaning out the fridge before we go if he’s never in charge of anything at home or if he’s so unreliable I can’t count on him to do his one job. That way, the worst result is I have to send him out for a couple outfits at target for the kids when we get to the destination, or we come home to some spoiled milk and stinky leftovers that he can toss.

Either this is a regular act of incompetence for him and you shouldn’t be surprised and should’ve been in charge of things you don’t want messed up, or it’s surprising because he’s usually so detail oriented in which case you should show some grace because he usually gets things right.

Encourage him to get evaluated for ADHD. Then if he has it, encourage him to treat it. Treatment is life changing for people coping poorly with ADHD and their families who are affected when their coping mechanisms fail. [/quote][/quote]

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