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[quote=Anonymous]There is no way to manage someone with mental health issues from afar. It would be a terrible mistake to try to agree to a small amount of assistance for BIL after your MIL passes. It will drain the life out of you and cost orders of magnitude more than you think. It’s not sustainable over time and the BIL will end up where he would have been if you hadn’t gotten trapped anyway. He will be no better or worse but you and your family will be damaged. I can not express how horrible and difficult it is to care for a mentally disabled middle aged to older man.

You need to tell MIL now that if she wants to help him, she needs to start getting him on lists for group homes and any state benefits and programs that exist in her area. It takes a while and social workers will keep pushing him down the list if they think he has other options. She needs a transition plan in place in the event something happens to her.

He’s going to end up in a group home or on the street. A group home is a far better option. [/quote]

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