Reply to In class with a kid we requested not to be with

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Wait, your kid has been picking on hers and had to apologize and your description of their interactions is "historically her kid has problems with other kids"?  You should say less because it just keeps getting worse.[/quote]

I mean the narrative of being the victim. He’s not actually a victim but without revealing too much, she’s got a lot of issues surrounding her own life and intense paranoia that people are being mean to her and her kid. She’s in a lot of therapy etc but has these delusions that people are slighting her when they aren’t. [/quote]

Op, you're well within your rights to minimize contact with the mom.   You're not in school with these two boys--just let the teacher know that the two boys occasionally have fought, and that the other parent has highlighted their concerns to you, and you wanted to make sure that the teacher was aware.  The teacher will do their job and deal with it if it's an issue.[/quote]

Op: The mother is definitely more of the problem for sure, but she has sort of created a monster by really obsessing (since preschool!) who was mean to him and he therefore feigns sadness and then she goes on a wrath against that child. Even if the kid wasn’t actually mean to him, and even if he was actually mean to the kid! Example: her son took and hid my kids shoes and made my kid run around the rocks barefoot at camp and then ny kid made fun of his smelly feet, and then because her son was upset by the smelly feet comment I got call about the harsh words about the feet and it blows up into this whole thing where she wants to discuss how my kid needs to watch his words etc etc. it’s just a strange situation I want to avoid, hence not sitting next to one another [/quote]

This is your oldest right?  Elementary schools don’t care about smelly feet comments or hidden shoes. They don’t care about the wrath of a mom. If there is physical assault that results in actual injury (stitches, broken arm) they will move one kid (probably the victim). If there is documented bullying that stretches on for months (with paperwork filled out and observed by a teacher, inside the classroom and not at camp or the playground) they might maybe possibly separate them. But maybe not. And definitely not for this kind of stupid stuff at camp.

He’s growing up!  Better start adjusting to the new world he is entering.  [/quote]

I have been in the situation where my child definitely did something wrong and we dealt with it but I felt the mother really really over reacted. Requested the kids be separated etc. but guess what? Her kid was over it by the next day and would seek mine out at lunch and recess. I was tempted to try and tell my kid to stay away from the other one because she clearly likes to get other kids in trouble and her mom goes nuclear over everything but I have just completely stayed out of it, aside from discussing the specific misbehavior with my child. I no longer interact with this mom beyond being pleasant when we run into each other. All you can do is encourage your kid to strengthen other friendships. The teacher will have a good sense of if something is really wrong. [/quote]

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