Reply to I want my husband to "make up" with his parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]They are HIS parents. It is HIS relationship to manage. Back off. [/quote]

I know this is the popular DCUM stance, but I disagree. It’s OUR family. I could have written the original post. It’s really the only thing about DH I don’t like. He could have a better relationship with his parents, but I think he chooses not to. I want a relationship so i chose to make plans so we spend holidays together (for the cousins), I think of his parents like I think of my own. It’s not toxic or abusive, so I have no issues about just doing what I think is right despite his limited interest in being with his family. [/quote]

I think that's a DCUM stance when people are complaining about their ILs.  I agree with you OP.  If your husband is being a jerk, and it's affecting your kids negatively, you're doing something good to try to smooth the waters.   [/quote]

I agree with you both and not the “it’s HIS parents” type of mentality.[/quote]

Same.  They are "our" parents, whether they are my family of origin or my husbands.  During Covid, we decided that if "my" parents got sick, my husband would be the one to leave our house to go to them to be their caretaker.  That meant that I would still be at home taking care of "his" father, who lives with us.  We had our reasons for that decision and it had nothing to do with the biology of our relationships to the people involved.  We're in this live together and a member of our family is a member of our family no matter how we're related.[/quote]

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