Reply to Corralled into Mother Moving In

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Corralled into Mother Moving In"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous]Thank you for all your advice. I tried the “there will be rules to follow” and she started crying about how she’s being treated like a child and how hurtful it is. I said I’m not trying to be hurtful, but we have to live in harmony. That got even more tears.

I also asked my siblings to ensure they will cover if I want to go away. Everyone is “too busy with their families, find a caretaker when you go away.” They said it much nicer than that but it was the gist of it. Back to the “you’re single and have nothing to do compared to us” message.  After, I mentioned to my mom that I will need help and because she is still with it and mobile, she said that’s unnecessary, that she isn’t an invalid who has to to be “babysat.” I replied it was for her safety and that I still need breaks. I am just going to have to arrange it anyway and deal the backlash.

I wouldn’t even know where to look for such help, she doesn’t need nursing care. Just someone to stay with her and drive her places, make sure she has everything she needs.

My mother does have some money that can help toward her upkeep. But I wouldn’t even know where to start for where to look.

You are all correct: I am a doormat, and I got easily railroaded. I was too afraid to stand my ground and felt guilty because my mom was good to us. Trust me, I know I have these issues which is why I was seeing a therapist. But change takes time, it isn’t easy and my first impulse is to go into “pleasing” mode. I put everyone else first.

That sure didn’t get me anywhere with my husband. I suspect he loves the doormat in me in the beginning. I try not to beat myself up over it all but I do know it’s partially my fault for being such a pushover and always worried he will leave me. Which of course he did. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics