Reply to Were we supposed to bring a card $$ to the wedding?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]We sent a wedding gift off the registry a month or two before the wedding (about $250). Got a thank you card saying "Thank you for the shower gift. Look forward to seeing you at the wedding."

Didn't think much of it, wedding came and went, now a month later we got a text from mother of the bride saying "Bride and groom got back from Aruba. They were doing their thank you notes but didn't see a card from you in the card box. There may have been a mistake so we wanted to check with you."

Did we make a mistake sending the wedding gift too early? Was it a faux pas not to bring a card for the card box? Is that a regional/cultural thing we might have missed, southerner marrying into big NY Italian family? They did have a big card box at the reception, no gift table that I saw. We just did the registry after getting the invitation since traveling with a baby we didn't want to transport a gift.[/quote]

Did you attend the wedding shower? I think it is traditional to give a smaller gift for a wedding shower and a larger one for the wedding. I think it is incredibly tacky for them to contact you about money when you already sent a nice gift. I guess it’s a thing for NY Italians to give money at a wedding- it’s a trope anyway. [/quote]

Racist.

We are not Italian, and we give money because the bride and groom have everything they need - they are not children.

We definitely do not go empty handed to a celebration - I thought that is good manners, no matter the family's background.

Wow.[/quote]

I’m a southern wasp and I can tell you that in my culture:

1) it’s considered very rude to bring a gift to a wedding because then someone has to deal with carrying it home. You are supposed to send it in advance

And 2) it’s considered very tacky to give cash or a check

I’m confused by op’s post though.

Op, did you attend a shower? If you attend a shower, you should give a gift at the shower and then also send a gift in advance or within a year of the wedding date.

I think it was strange of the mom to text you.[/quote]
There is no obligation to give a gift. [/quote]

I think in traditional etiquette there is actually an obligation to give a gift if you are the guest; HOWEVER, traditional etiquette would also say that the newlyweds are NOT to expect gifts. All this being said, the MOB reaching out is gross in any etiquette standards.[/quote]

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