Reply to Boss told me that he rarely sees me interacting with my coworkers

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I just want to make things clearer because many people have assumptions about my boss. He is a good person and I like him. He is kind, down to earth and very warm. He is always regularly emailing me regarding projects. Every now and then, when he walks in the office, he seems to notice that I’m not engaging with others.

In the office, there’s a really large room with multiple computers like 5 and a few small rooms with only one computer. I’m always doing my work in one of these small rooms by myself (it’s only suitable for one person anyway) and rarely go to that main room. In that main room sometimes there’s discussions between coworkers about work related topics and projects. I rarely go to that room because I don’t feel comfortable around others and prefer to do my work in those small, individual rooms. They are a bit far from the other main room and I always leave my door open. So every now and then when my boss goes by, he doesn’t see me in that main room with others. So he automatically knows I’m by myself in the other rooms. He also talks with others in the main room for several minutes, then leaves. He has seemed to notice that I’m rarely in that main room and always by myself, and not interacting with my coworkers.

I have a feeling that he’s noticed I’m very distant and is worried about me. Combine that with the anxious behaviours my senior and coworkers have seen me displaying. So naturally, he probably asked a few coworkers about me to perhaps check up and see if everything is ok with me. I think my senior also told him about my ‘very anxious’ behaviour as well. I also want to add that one of my coworkers has texted me last week, asking if I’m ok because I didn’t come to work on a particular day. I told him that I’m fine and he’s like our boss wanted to see if everything is ok because he said he wanted to have a chat with you. So, that’s why my boss decided to have a meeting with me a few days later, ask me about how things are going and why ‘I’m not part of a team.’ I think he means well and is just checking on me like what a caring boss would do to his employees.

Also, when I said ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ to him, I never said it to end the conversation. He told me a few people said I’m very anxious and so I immediately became defensive and said that in a vulnerable manner. It was because I felt emotional. I’m going to work on Monday and need advice on how to go from there. I don’t think I’m yet comfortable to sit in the main area with others and would prefer the other individual room. Would it be ok if I remain in the small room by myself? What if he tells me that I need to go to the other main room and I just can’t get myself to do that, what shall I do? What if my other coworkers tell me to join them in the main room? Should I go or [b]do I have the right to work alone by myself in the quite room[/b]?

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You've gotten tips on how to take some small steps in this direction.

In terms of the Q, it really depends on the job and role. It doesn't seem like they can expect you to work in the main room all day (what would be the point) but does your anxiety prevent you from attending meetings? Like if they say, we're all meeting to discuss XYZ at 2pm, would you say no? [/quote]

This.  Or would you be willing to negotiate that you will take some baby steps and perhaps work in the main room for small amounts of time every day, say maybe 30 minutes to an hour?

It sounds like your boss and colleagues are really willing to work with you.  I'm not getting mean or malicious vibes at all from your reenactment of the discussion.  It sounds like this is a very collaborative and friendly group.  It may be as difficult for them to have you outside of their circle as it is for you to move into the circle.[/quote]

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