Reply to Would you marry a man who has a bad relationship with his mother?

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "Would you marry a man who has a bad relationship with his mother?"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]pp here again. I have to say, thank you for your reasoned response. I apologize for my frustration and I agree was an overreaction. My frustration comes from the fact that it seemed like the OP was being shamed for her post. She was being called "irrational" and this particular post implied she was being intolerant, which several others seemed to agree with.

The reason that really gets to me is that it seems that if women object to anything or try to self protect, they are basically insulted. They are called picky, snobs, intolerant. And of course, women are ruthlessly judged for failed marriages and for pursuing their own happiness above that of partner, children, family of origin. Essentially they can't win. Be picky and walk away from a problematic relationship and you are "judging by a single story", but stay in the relationship and then watch it break down and it's "why did you marry such a loser".

It seems like a sexist double standard which was why the use of the TED talk was particularly galling. [/quote]

I posted the TED video.  It was not to shame anyone.  Ironically, I [b]left[/b] a really bad marriage.  I am on the receiving end of the kinds judgments the holier-than-thou crowd likes to toss around here on DCUM.  As you noted pp, I put my own happiness (and sanity) above all else - partner, children and a society who generally says stay together "for the sake of the kids."

For me, the TED talk was empowering because I feel that I have been judged by a single story - a divorced mom with young children.  After hearing so many people tell me that the Bible permits divorce only in cases of adultery, I felt really beat down despite knowing that I made the right choice for me and my children. So in a broad sense I felt the TED talk "fit" here as I also struggle with how to one day select a mate.

I was too quick to anger after your comment nearly extinguished my "high" from watching the video.  I try to stay above board on this anonymous forum, I regret my failure to do so on this topic.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics