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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, your problem is that you have inserted a whole lot of "we" into the process.  It shouldn't be "we," it should be your kid.  Your job is to tell your kid how much you are willing to and can pay.  That's it.[/quote]

No, that's not "it". You give you kid loads of advice and direction about many things, why should this one decision - the most impactful and expensive they will make for some time in their lives - be an exception? It should not, and it is not for most normal families.

You people that jump all over the use of "we" - I just don't get it.  "We decided to eat dinner at Outback Steak House" is fine but "We decided to spend $300,000 on CMU" is not?

Ridiculous.[/quote]

It's not the most "impactful," just the most "expensive."  Which is why, as I said, the parent's role is limited to what they can or are willing to pay.[/quote]

It is extremely impactful.  Helping your kid find a school that's a great fit is key.  For my kids, finding one where they were not locked into a specific major is key---the ability to switch majors without issues played a huge role in selecting the universities, and recognizing that many schools it's not possible to do that for engineering.  Sure my kid could go to our top state U, and they got into the "engineering school"--T50 school, but then they would have to fight to do extremely well and apply and hope to get their desired major (desired major is an impacted major and is really difficult to get into).  So we helped our kid realize that there are plenty of great engineering schools where this is not the case, and that you can enjoy college and not be stressed about maintaining a 4.0 just so you can be a BME---I mean who wants to attend college and be told, "sorry, but you can be a civil engineer or environmental engineer, but those are your choices after sophomore year.  No space left in BME/CHemE and forget about CS it's not a thing without direct admit".  So yes, attending many schools could mean your kid is an engineer, just not the type they are interested in.    As well as engineering is hard, so struggling to maintain a 3.99/4.0 is not what I want my kid doing freshman/soph year.  I want them focused on learning for the sake of learning and figuring out what research they want to do, and what internships interest them, not functioning like it's junior/senior year of HS and they are trying to get into college yet again.  [/quote]

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