Reply to How to drop the rope re mental load?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here. I am starting to view it as a fundamental lack of respect for me and my time. Literally he won’t make the effort to walk over to the fridge and see if we have milk? Can’t be bothered to do anything himself- forget foresight and thinking ahead of what needs to be done.
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I view it as you being so fundamentally fragile that simple and harmless questions are breaking you.

LMAO at all the DCUM women who claim to be Strong and Independent and also "OMG he asked if we have milk such questions impose a punishing emotional load I am exhausted and can't take it any more!"[/quote]

Rude. It’s not fragile to want your grown ass spouse to act like a grown up and not be lazy. Raising little humans is hard enough without having your husband add to the load.[/quote]

This exactly. I cannot think of what he adds to my life.
- I make more money and have for the last 5 years
- he doesn’t do housework unless I hound him
-he dials it in re kids, unless it’s fun frivolous stuff. Then he goes balls to the wall
- when he’s gone on travel I feel busy but stress-free, relieved, and alive. 
- I don’t need him for money, emotional fullfillment, s*x is nonexistent

I just don’t think I can blow up my kids lives for my unhappiness[/quote]

It might be too late for this, but try the book How Not to Hate your husband after you have kids.   Despite the self help title, it was really helpful to me.  And DH, though he hasn’t read so he doesn’t know why we have been happier lately. [/quote]

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