Reply to How to drop the rope re mental load?

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I totally get this and I know it’s not the questions itself it’s the expectation that you know or should know the status of every item in the house. Where is this? Do we have this? Why do I have to be the one who knows it all off the top of my head? It’s totally frustrating. You have to be a team or it doesn’t work. But I would say try to approach it with more kindness than “I don’t know” and have a conversation about how you would like things to be. He probably has no clue he’s pissing you off.

What has worked for my husband is for the kids Dr and dentist appointments and many of their sports/activities, I do the scheduling, fill out the forms and sign ups and purchase the uniforms or whatever … and then he gets to do the transporting. He has a more flexible schedule and time off at work than I do (he is a fed) so he can take DD to her eye doctor visit at 3, or take DS to his peewee hockey at 5. That’s not to say I never do these things, but we’ve fallen into a  routine where he does the majority. 
He also does most of the cooking and outdoor stuff, while I handle shopping (Costco, groceries, kids clothes), deal with household service appointments (pest guy, cleaners), laundry, most of the bill paying, and organizing. It has taken us a long time to find a good rhythm and it’s not perfect, but it has helped a lot with the mental load. [/quote]

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