Reply to Just got a sad letter from my 11-year-old

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[quote=Anonymous]Very normal. Which I learned the hard way when my oldest went away for the first three week long sleep away camp at 11 or 12.

Got a very emotional letter about how homesick he was, how much he wished he was home and missed us, and how he was losing so much of the summer away from his friends, who he also missed, again around a week in.

Needless to say, me and his father were anxious and scared that he was sitting there miserable, debated calling the camp to check on him, decided that was too clingy and an overreaction because he didnt say anything beyond normal homesick stuff, then didnt get a letter the next week (they basically had one chance to send out a letter a week, if they wanted), then called the camp who told me that DS said he was too busy and he could wait until we picked him up the next week.

The moral of the story? When we picked him up he was all smiles and took forever to finally leave. When we brought up the letter he said he didnt even remember writing it and went on a long explanation of everything he did at camp that he enjoyed and wanted to continue to do the next year.

I think it is a normal part of going away, especially if they arent used to being away from home. Some homesickness is very natural, even living in the DC area for almost 25 years, I still have moments of homesickness.

This is with the one caveat is that there is a difference between feeling homesick, missing family/friends, and feeling abused or hurt by the camp itself. If the complaints are about other kids bullying him, or the camp forcing him to do something dangerous or beyond the scope of what he is comfortable with, or anything like that. If the complaints are of the latter type, that is when you might want to pay a bit more attention (without freaking out, remember that you arent there and there is only a slight difference between pushing kids/people to explore new things and forcing the issue).[/quote]

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