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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I would text her back with one word - “proof?”

See what she shares with you.

If she sends more simply accept and then watch your DH carefully in all dimensions - mood, behavior with you, comings and goings, bank account, email and phone if you have access to them, computer history, cell phone bill, credit card bill, car tracker (simply leave some belonging of yours in the trunk with a tile or tag, etc.

Meanwhile, get yourself into individual therapy with someone who doesn’t try to make you the crazy person.

Also see an attorney and learn how to prepare & what custody, child support & asset split would look like.

Ultimately, your DH will either confess on his own or you will have to confront him at a time of your choosing.

IME, the only hope (slim) that your marriage survives is if DH confesses on his own, enters individual therapy of his own volition and is remorseful and makes amends.  Even if that is the case he should be willing to sign a favorable (to you) post-nup as the price of continued marriage.

Meanwhile, do a 180 and engage politely but minimally with him.

Finally, FWIW, you will have to decide what to do about sex between the 2 of you.  IME, non-consenual non-monogamous sex felt like a form of rape to me. Ultimately, I could not establish a safe-for-me environment for sex, and so I ended the relationship.

She is terrible for engaging with him, but he is equally terrible.  I say that as someone whose HS boyfriend periodically makes overtures to some kind of more sexual relationship.  It’s not that hard to keep saying no if you know what kind of person you want to be. [/quote]

This is excellent advice.[/quote]

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