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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP, I am writing it as someone whose exH carried over a hidden affair at work for 5 years. He also did it on work trips/abroad. In my case it was a strong emotional connection between the 2 of them, so he would not stop seeing her. And I wanted out, too as I didn't want to live as a family with his AP so involved in my marriage forever.

But [b]if your husband is already broken up with that woman, she's already disposed of and irrelevant. Her texting you shows her weakness. [/b]Do not break your marriage over some whore. Particular if your husband wants to reconcile, work on the relationship. You have 3 kids to think of ! If otherwise the marriage felt good (no abuse, alcohol, he is a good earner) try to stick it out. Do not confront him openly, do not talk about a divorce. Give yourself time to line up finances, research lawyers, get all statements. Then keep it locked in your drawer until kids are out for college.

[/quote]

He dumped her and she’s angry.  It’s better than if he thought he was in love, etc.  she was just a bang, used and dumped.

That’s about the timeframe these affairs with infrequent meetups run their course.  They go a little longer because it remains new, but the true colors/personality eventually show up and the sex isn’t so good when it’s not fresh.  Sounds like typical midlife married man thing.  Most don’t get discovered.

Is she married?  [/quot

I do think it is interesting he broke it off with AP.  He clearly wasn't in love with her and was not ready to leave the marriage.  It does sound like some type of mid-life crisis thing.  I think that is important to determine what was going on in his head that made him make the decision to start the affair in the first place and then ultimately end it.  Also, how many times did they actually get together.  It was over a 3 year period, but was it a couple of times a year, a month, weekly?  Did they talk between liaisons?  And why is the AP so bitter it ended - the AP knew he was married.  Did he give her the idea that it was more serious than a periodic hook up?    There is a lot of information the OP doesn't yet know.[/quote]

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