Reply to Would a Timid but Smart Boy Fit in at St. Albans?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]NP - Does anyone have a sense of how the earlier years are for non-BVR kids who go to STA? Thinking about applying next year for our DS but worried about a dynamic where there are a ton of kids who've been together at BVR since K and then a small group of truly new kids, and whether that creates weird cliques and whatnot that are hard to break into for the non-BVR kids. [/quote]

It depends on the non-BVR kid. The ones who are friendly, sporty, and moderately smart will be accepted right away.  The ones who are shy could take a little longer to find friends. Best to have your son enter at 4th in C Form. Form A can be a tough year for entry because that’s when the middle school social dynamics start to happen. If your son is having a hard time finding friends after a semester, you may want to talk to his teacher and counselors. The boys I’ve seen have trouble adjusting had some issues. One parent I knew blamed the BVR boys for being snobby when her son had trouble with basic social skills like taking turns. [/quote]

Ah, the Beauvoir moms justifying their kids snobby behavior.

Op, the Beauvoir kids are cliquey at ncs and sta all thru high school. And beyond. It’s a definite downside to the social dynamic at both ncs and sta.[/quote]

+1. The dead giveaway is BVR mom calling out fourth graders for not "taking turns."  Please. They aren't 5 years old.[/quote]

That was the point. 9-year olds shouldn’t be having a problem with that, should they?  So the boys that come in with those kind of social deficits get ostracized and their mother complain that the Beauvoir boys are snobby.[/quote]

I have seen far more BVR kids have social problems bc they act like babies well into upper school.  The boys don’t like it when some of their classmates expect to be treated differently. [/quote]

Simply not true. The Beauvoir kids who are immature or have behavioral issues are not admitted to STA. The closeness of the two institutions results in STA and NCS knowing a lot more about Beauvoir kids than they do for kids applying from other schools.

The Beauvoir kids and those from other privates tend to be more innocent than some of the public school kids, but why would Beauvoir boys expect to be treated differently by classmates they’ve known most of their lives?

Most non- Beauvoir boys find them kind and accepting, and most non-Beauvoir boys are quickly integrated into the social life of the school. Non-Beauvoir boys who are shy but nice might take a little longer, but they will find their group.

It’s the ones who have social issues that have a hard time finding friends.[/quote]

You are not claiming that immaturity gets boys counseled out of 4rth grade are you?  That would be malpractice on the part of STA.  My experience, which can be different than yours by the way, is that there have been a number of boys who, upon acting less mature, find themselves excluded at times. I have specifically asked my kids about certain boys and have heard this more than once.  “So and so isn’t a bad kid but he ....  “and quite often it’s a maturity thing.  
By high school, it seems to fix itself but in 6,7,8th grades - happens a lot.  In the cases involving my boys, the kids in question have been from BVR. [/quote]

STA doesn’t need to counsel anyone out. They just don’t admit kids who are immature or have behavioral issues.

It’s called private school admissions.

Kids develop at different paces, and of course there are former Beauvoir kids who are immature at different grades during their STA years. However, the ones who are admitted by STA are not noticeably immature at age 8/9 when screened for Form C admission. The ones who are get rejected.

New kids coming in who have social issues have a harder time.  It’s not an STA thing. It’s true for new kids at any school.  The point is that most new kids at STA do fine, but the ones who have issues are the ones whose moms will be on DCUM complaining about those snobbish Beauvoir kids. [/quote]

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